


sorry, i love you

by caryophyllaceae (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: JUST, M/M, i was nEW TO THE FANDOM FORGIVE ME, if you enjoy this more power to you, kinda OOC, what the fuck, what the fuck is this, what the fuck was I thinking, why am i posting this fucking garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/caryophyllaceae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You hate that you're the one who has to do this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sorry, i love you

**Author's Note:**

> i found this in my google docs and it really sucks but i'm posting it anyway?
> 
> i wrote it when i was still new to johndave and it was kind of unknown territory, spare me.

ROSE: Hm.

ROSE: If this information is accurate,

ROSE: The only way to end Sburb once and for all is to kill the person who it began with.

KARKAT: AND THAT IS?

ROSE: Well, if my memory suffices, that would be John.

Everyone’s eyes land on the Heir of Breath.

He gulps, shifts nervously, and twines a loose blue string around the tip of his forefinger until it turns purple. Rose taps her foot impatiently, maybe waiting for him to say something. Jade lurches forward, either to hug him or hit him, you aren’t sure which; nonetheless, she dismisses whatever idea she had in her head after a second and steps back again. You open your mouth to say something but clamp it shut again because really, what the hell are you supposed to say?

KARKAT: WELL, WE CAN’T JUST STAND AROUND TWIDDLING OUR FUCKING THUMBS.

KARKAT: ENGLISH IS STILL AFTER US. IF NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO KILL JOHN, I WILL.

JOHN: shut the fuck up, karkat.

All of you are supposed to be in super-serious mode, but you can’t help the small chuckle that you let out. No one seems to hear it but Karkat and Jade; Jade because of those freakish white dog ears she has, Karkat because the person you were laughing about was him. In return, you get a sharp glare and a laugh that almost sounds more like a bark.

ROSE: I do believe someone has to kill you, John.

ROSE: If you prefer it not be Karkat, I’m sure someone else would be willing.

JOHN: i don’t want it to be karkat, that’s for sure.

JOHN: anyone else is fine.

ROSE: Right.

ROSE: Well, are any of you willing?

DAVE: why dont you do it lalonde

Rose looks startled by the suggestion; violet eyes wide, pooling with emotion.

ROSE: Because, I…

ROSE: I can’t.

ROSE: Bring myself to kill him.

KARKAT: WAY TO BE A WIMP, LALONDE.

DAVE: you shut your fucking mouth vantas

And, to the shock and surprise of pretty much everyone, Karkat does just that.

JOHN: well someone needs to kill me!

JOHN: letting everything hang in suspense isn’t exactly the best way to end this, is it?!

JOHN: WILL ONE OF YOU JUST KILL ME ALREADY???

JADE: john, calm down

JADE: ok?

JADE: i can do it if you want

Everyone’s eyes land on the Witch of Space.

She won’t look at any of you. Her chest is rising and falling unevenly, and you know without seeing her face directly that she’s crying. But, if there’s one thing you can give yourself credit for remembering about Jade, it’s that she hates to be watched when she’s crying. In her words, it’s, “stupid and pointless and i look like a freakin wreck when i do it” so she hides if she is.

TEREZI: YOUR3 TH3 B1GG3ST W1MPS 1V3 3V3R M3T

Terezi looks at you, almost like a challenge, like she has a comeback prepared in case you snap at her the same way you had at Karkat. You didn’t have any intention to, so instead of meeting her freakish yellow and black eyes you look away. She makes a humming-type noise, one of affirmation, you guess.

TEREZI: 1LL DO 1T

She navigates her way over to John with ease, so you assume some traces of her vision are still left over. You watch her line her cane up with what you know is John’s heart, and you don’t have the guts to keep watching, so you look away.

It feels like an eternity before you look back again, but in reality it was likely only about five minutes, tops. You prepare yourself to see a bloody mess of John Egbert in front of Terezi, but instead you see a still-alive John with his eyes shut tightly, like a kid who just woke up from one of the worst nightmares they’ve ever had.

JOHN: what is it, terezi?

TEREZI: 1…

TEREZI: 1 CANT DO 1T

DAVE: oh my GOD

DAVE: give me the cane, ill fucking do it

Terezi is next to you in a flash, shoving the cane into your hands like it’d done her some great wrong. It feels like ten fucking years pass as you walk to John, but you know it couldn’t have taken more than a few seconds. He flashes you a smile, wide and toothy, so  _ John Egbert  _ that you’re sure your heart convulsed.

DAVE: dammit egbert

DAVE: dont make this harder than it already is

JOHN: sorry, dave!

JOHN: just thought smiling would lift the mood.

DAVE: youre a fuckin dork

DAVE: im about to kill you

DAVE: and you think smiling is gonna lift the mood

JOHN: well, yeah!

You line the cane up, just as Terezi had; right over his heart. You’re going to make this quick and painless, which you guess is what she had been going for, too. Only, you aren’t going to do what she had; you aren’t going to backpedal at the last minute, decide that you can’t possibly bring yourself to kill John and that someone else needs to do it.

No, you are going to go through with this.

DAVE: hey

DAVE: listen egbert

DAVE: havent been honest with you

JOHN: oh, what is it? can’t you just kill me and get it over with?

DAVE: god do you ever shut up

JOHN: nope!

DAVE: listen you little shit

You drive the cane forward. John cringes.

DAVE: i fucking love you ok

DAVE: there i said it, three years later

You push the cane forward, full force, and you swear you can hear the sickening squelch when it pierces John’s heart. He smiles, weakly, and falls to his knees. You don’t even have to look to know that your hands are covered in blood; don’t  _ want  _ to, don’t need to look at your best bro’s blood staining your pale hands crimson.

JOHN: hey, dave?

DAVE: yeah

JOHN: i love you too, you know.

And then John Egbert falls flat, dead, at your feet.

**Author's Note:**

> this is not even sad. this just fucking sucks. i have no fucking idea why i wrote this or why i decided to post it. i make terrible choices. if no one enjoyed this i wouldn't even be surprised. the only thing i had to do was add a final line because for some reason, i ditched the fanfiction before finishing it up. i probably hurt its poor feelings.
> 
> if you did enjoy it, thanks a lot. really! it's shit, but i'm glad you enjoyed it if you did.


End file.
